After centuries of being the unequal partner, Caeser came upon a revelation.
He told his English overlord, Cameron, who treated his aspiration with disdain.
"I'll tell you what I tell everyone else," said Cameron.
"How about you vote no, and I'll give you extra goodies. Let's start with a stick of Blackpool Rock?"
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Cameron took Caeser to his word, publicising his statement out of context.
Not happy enough with that, Cameron began targeting young voters.
Still, Cameron was insecure, and embarked on a negative publicity campaign.
"Do you really want to see the future of an Independent Scotland?" he said.
"And..."
Caeser was having none of it.
"You see," said Cameron, "you and the scourge of sectarianism. It's a stain on Scottish society."
"You'll never survive without us English to guide you. England will protect you against the big bad world economy. You won't have to lift a finger, just sit back, relax and be fed whatever we decide to give you. Deplore the use of your own brain...come home, Caeser."
"That's right, I'm hame, not home, get 'er it. As fer you..."
Caeser gathered his closest allies to plan their next move.
"...tae all the apes ay Scotland. Something basic, primeval, that'll get right under their skins and stress the importance ay the referendum. Something Don Ape Salmond would faw back on...I've got it!"
Remember though, folks, the referendum isn't about how many bananas you can get in your lifetime, it's about securing bananas for your future ape-weans.
Meanwhile in England...
